everything except himself

Thickly spread across the sky,
Mounted up so high,
How quickly they go by!

Up there my feelings lie,
Yet down here am I,
And I cannot get away.

Would that I were borne on the current of the wind,
This stationary life I would transcend
In the sky-river’s bend.

Up there to my feelings tend
But lose myself to the corner’s trend,
And I cannot get away.

How low I would swoop
Only to feel my heart droop
That we are stuck in this forever-loop.

Up there where my feelings coup,
We all march on like a troop,
And I cannot get away.

Standing still is our foe,
Defeated effortlessly by the air’s unending flow
So much so that I long for the ground below!

Down there my feelings go
In tears or snow,
And I cannot get away.

Something I rewrote in an attempt to get noticed by other users on Deviant Art. At least when people randomly fave my stuff, it’ll be relatively high quality.

11×14 I referenced in previous post can be checked out here: link. Total time was about 4 hours, because I had to clean it up something fierce.

So that chirping noise (the tech corrected me from “clicking”) was a combination of my belt, the belt idler, and the belt tensioner. Car runs silent now, though, which is exciting. Of course on the ironic flipside, this could just be one step away from, “Not with a bang but a whimper.” At any rate, the Saturn in Lithia Springs closed down, so I had to go to the one in Marietta. It is conveniently right up the road from school, though. However, the reading material was not as good and I didn’t get my fill of sleezy daytime television. The sleek flat-screen TV mounted on the wall was tuned to Sportscenter. Among finding out that some football coach is retiring (Dungy) and that people don’t get voted into the baseball hall of fame because they’ve used performance enhancing drugs, I also learned a ton of useless information from the January issue of “Atlanta Life Magazine”.

In other news, the day started out with drawing. I forgot how fast I draw since I did it all the time standing post at Regal. I almost knocked out an 11×14 shot in under 2 hours. I had to leave for school, though, and my car was still icy, so there really wasn’t any flex time. Then, after feeling moderately accomplished, I had to pass through Marietta’s premiere construction site (a.k.a. “Southern Polytechnic State University”). As if acknowledging my arrival, 2 trucks carrying dirt and rocks and stuff pass me as I enter. And, further down the road, holes have decided to take up residence in the road. They’ve got a veritable breeding ground there now. Finally passing them, I end up at the parking area: full. So, I go further down the road to park. There were actually a lot of spots open, and I didn’t feel like I needed to be there early on Wednesday. I got back from Discrete Math to find cars on the lawn. I think getting there early is necessary. And now, I am off to a SWE class with a teacher who shouldn’t be a teacher.

939 (no amp)

Rainy day + staying up all night + playing the guitar while lying down.

Dear one for whom my heart does long,
Soft night rays play in light of your being:
Your beauty shines transformed to song,
And your voice descends serene.

Laughter trails your form like wind
As your carefree intent is shown.
As the contours of your body bend,
Sweeter melodies may never again be known.

Your voice and grace are all in place –
Inspiration gently brought
By moves of greatest form and chase –
And you are desirably sought.

What life you bring to this lonesome face,
Dancing through my apt mind you race.

I haven’t talked to or seen the girl that poem’s about in 6 years. But, we’re in the process of moving, and so I found the poem in a large notebook under my bed. It’s hard to believe it’s been six years, at that. I found myself crying, remembering her. If ever there were a mistake, it was not telling her how I felt, but I was so young then. And now, with that horribly fiendish thing called the “Internet” (namely “facebook.com”) I’ve got the chance to again, but I don’t think I can work up the nerve to do it.

Now, if anyone were to ask me how to handle the situation, I’d tell them to go for it! Specifically, I’d tell the person not to let the mistake continue. You know, tell this girl how much she meant to you and how much you’ve thought about her since. Tell her how much you’ve missed her and how you just wanted to say “Hi!” after all these years. You know, tell her that, for what it’s worth, she’s always had a place in your heart, and, you know, it’s unconditional. I mean, no matter what’s happened, you still care about this person and nothing — not time, not hurt feelings, not anything — can change that.

I’m afraid that she’ll just write me off, though. But, I think I’m going to try anyway.