everything except himself

Awesome, now I have a new schedule thanks to the AP scores. I no longer have to be stuck in a random teacher (Staff) led math class. Oh, and I’ll be in Calc II. I’ll be taking a Lit. class next semester, but I will be taking honors Speech during this one. Other than that, I’m still taking intro to Computer blah blah and then Computer Sciencne 101 (and the accompanying lab). This is only a twelve hour schedule (minimum for full enrollment), so I’ll have an extra 50 minutes of free time :P. Slacking off is such an art form…

I did the “Full Monty” with the “Other Lewinsky” today at Moe’s. This location is in Douglasville, though. The last one I went to was in Hiram. It was pretty much the same quality, except that this Moe’s actually serves alcoholic beverages and didn’t have the standard style napkins (they’d bought some from a supermarket or something and had them just sitting out). Also, I like the setup of the other Moe’s better, since it was more intuitive, even though this one is larger. Anyway, basically, what I’ve learned from all of this is that you don’t order the “queso” (cheese) dip, since you’ll be paying upwards of eight (8) dollars for a meal instead of five (5). Unfortunately, I have to work tomorrow; fortunately, I get paid tomorrow, so that kind of economizes the trip.

Well, we hit up the Moe’s in Hiram. It was good, even if they did have Fox news and some bad John Lenin playing. It was good Southwestern food, and it’s a heavily designed concept restaurant… Sheesh, I wasn’t able to spell “restaurant” correctly without the aid of a dictionary. I believe that that is a sign that I should not be awake at this hour. Goodbye for now.

Well, this year’s AP tests turned out better than ’03’s did for me:

Tomorrow, we’re probably going to go hit up Moe’s in Hiram. I still gotta cash my check from work, and then I’m probably going to buy a new video card. I’m not going to say that I need it, but I really want an OpenGL 2 compliant card. ATI makes these; Nvidia lies about these. Nvidia makes me angry, so I’m going to pick up an ATI card this time. It’s going to have to last me, too. Heh. College is just around the corner…

Well, I had to work tonight (yesterday). I got out at about 12:40am. Yay… Oh, and I burned my right hand. Yay… Oh, and I got followed down a winding road by a sheriff’s car. Yay… Other than that, life’s okay. Well, except that I have to work today at 3pm. Yay…

Well, the situation is currently that foofy, the guy who runs Aspyre, isn’t responding to my e-mails. Oh, well. So, you’re just going to have to get your fix from this. I know it’s not that awesome shade of blue all over, but it looks like you’re going to have to live with it for now. I’ll be too busy to mock up a template for this. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, I’m lazy.

What else, what else… Oh, went shopping today for my dorm stuff. What I got was a laundry hamper/bag/thing, a paper filing device with matching waste basket, another trash can, and an old-style alarm clock. However, it took us a 4 hour trip for this junk. We drove out to IKEA (a Swedish housing products warehouse type thing) in the middle of the rush hour. Note: I wasn’t the one driving, since rush hour traffic sucks. However, I guess that it is my fault since I decided to wake up at 2pm today. Yeah, it’s a wonderful time of day. I was really hoping it would rain today, though.

Why did I wake up at that time (I know you’re wondering)? Well, I was working on a project last night — heh, I’m working on it now, too — that I was really into. Well, it’s not finished yet, but here is a picture of the shingles: shingles. It’s going to be a house eventually. I’ve draw out what I want the house to look like, but now I have to model all that stuff and put it together. This, by the way, is for a project called “FFRealms”, which is a game that is trying to re-capture a Final Fantasy type feel to it in the form of an online game. However, progress is slow, since all of the developers are constantly busy (I’m one of them) with other stuff, like work. Inasmuch, it’s not a fully fledged game and so many people, the former player base, were complaining, which caused the programmer (not me) to make a static version of the game. It was originally meant to be done in Flash, but he hasn’t gotten it to work quite yet. Cheers to him when he does, since it’s make for a much better game. Anyway, I’ll try to keep you posted about what I’m doing for the game though, like the house. Btw, you can visit the site at FFrealms.com.

I just got back from the SPSU two-day orientation thing. It was boring and pointless, except for the fact that we got to register for classes earlier than most. I’ve got a full week’s schedule with 15 hours. Well, that is until AP scores come in and it drops a bit. I am taking computer courses, however I’m mostly taking lit. courses. I’ve got honors Lit/Comp and Speech. This is going to be fun. Mmm, me speaking… that’s kind of funny, isn’t it? I can already feel the invisibility setting in on me.

Speaking of invisibility, most of the “Journey” (that’s the program’s name) was spent telling us that college is supposed to be enjoyable and that we shouldn’t stay in our rooms. I can already see where this is going to be a problem. I mean, I have a lot of different hobbies, most of which are done in a non-gorup environment. I mean, honestly, I think they’ll probably storm my room and drag me out, even though I’m drawing or modeling something (3d modeling, that is) and enjoying my college experience. I’m sure there will be some things that I will like doing with everybody, but, over all, I think I’ll enjoy what I’ve always done, that is creating something, whether it be a drawing, some piece of artwork, or otherwise. I like reading, too. That’s something done by one’s self. Well, unless there’s some type of poetry club. Hmm, this may turn into the Dead Poet’s Society all over again, perhaps it will not.

Oh! I’m getting my Wacom Graphire drawing tablet on Tuesday (July the 5th)! Ah, you don’t know how happy I am that I’m finally getting one. This means that I don’t have to draw on real paper. Now, don’t get me wrong, drawing on a real, physical medium is great, but it isn’t always conducive to the projects that I’d like to do. I mean, I’d really like to digitally paint some images that I have had for a while now, but I really can’t do it so well with just a mouse. It gets irritating that you can’t make the proper strokes with a mouse. It looks fake, in a way, with a mouse. Oh, well, you’ll get to see eventually.

On a different note, I’m sure that some of the few of you that actually read this are wondering how I’m doing. I’m not going to tell you. In fact, don’t expect any more of those pseudo-deeply reflective entries for a while. Nothing has changed, but I’m just not going to waste your time with them anymore. If you really want something like that, find me in-person. Until then, …

I think I recognized early on that I am a narcissist. They placed me in an “advanced” class in school in which we learned about all things classical. I still have yet to figure out just how “classical” things are so advanced. Personally, I find them irresponsibly illogical. Yet, somehow they seem to pervade the present. Perhaps that is the true innovation, a sort of immortality. Everyone seeks immortality, don’t they? Indeed, the Present is linked to the Past by Fate’s chains, but don’t we all hope that the Future is not bound in that way?

I have questioned it, but Fate and Fortune, twin sisters, both cruel and kind at different times, have dealt me this hand. I am a Narcissus without an Echo. Her absence makes all the difference. You know, I am convinced that Narcissus knew that Echo wanted him; it affirmed his belief that he was great. There is no such counter in my life, yet I do not sit by a pond looking at myself twenty-four-seven, either. Well, not literally. I think about myself a lot, though.

Do you know what annoys me about this world? There are people much like the Patricians of old that have exclusive rights, and, yet, they waste them for meaninglessness. I do not speak merely of government, though perhaps emotion is the greatest government all, but of relationships. It is this abuse of power that defies whatever logic I have left in me. It drives me crazy.

I said that I don’t stare at the pond twenty-four-seven, and this is not false, but I will not lie in that I do look to it often. However, I do not simply see myself in it. Indeed, I have come to see myself as reprehensible lately. Though I wish that I were magnanimous, I am not. This paradigm shift is because I see how well I blend in with the rest of the proverbial pond’s reflecting. It is disgusting to me that I match such filth, but I do.

Speaking of filth, have you ever seen someone wash clothes by hand? I have only seen it in movies, but, even if they are only actors and actresses, it seems as though they talk to the clothes. Well, rather, they talk to the stains, as if to say, “You’re going to get out now.” They won’t respond, though, except that maybe they come out or maybe they don’t. I mention this because I really do talk to things that won’t respond in a conventional way, and this is where I envy my archetype, in that he could speak to nothing and have his answer. “Echo.” I envy that…

If I die, I will not spawn a flower, but perhaps I will have changed something in someone before my time ceases. If only that it were something like showing them what not to do, that would be fine. I think that would be something beautiful, when there is some much in this world that is only “boo-ful.” Yes, this once-pure sphere has been rotted by this sordid society and by me. However, even though I believe that humans are innately evil, in the same way, I believe that there is a capacity in this race of men and women for something clean, for something noble. But, Humanity, I hate you, and I fear that I always will.

[Listening to: Sponge - Plowed (3:18)]

Ah, well, here is an update: I can eat solid food again! I’m still working on being better. I did poorly today. It all started with a bad dream I had. It wasn’t like a nightmare, but it was just, well, kind of disgustingly wrong. You see, I was switching my left leg with this girl’s dad’s left leg so that the guy could walk. I did this out of my feelings for the girl, which is wrong. I then went on to hit on the girl, only to back down when someone else went after her. However, let me say that, at this point, the dream became gross. No, I’m not going to outline it for you. I simply state this for proof that I’m a bad person, if not consciously, then subconsciously. I felt bad about it when I woke up and thought about it.

Stranger things… Oh! My hand is blue today. Someone smeared blue ink all over the top of my right hand. It matches the blog’s color. Hah, ironic. What else, what else… Work is trying to kill me. Ah! Libby and Jenna were at the mall today, but I fear that, in waving to them with little emotion, they probably think less of me now. What am I talking about!? They probably don’t think about me at all. Sheesh. Man, well, the reason why I really wasn’t waving ecstatically was because I wasn’t wearing my glasses, so it takes me some time (more than a split second and less that two) to guess at who is waving at me, if they are waving at me. *sigh* Where’s my black eye… Regardless, I’m feeling a little better than yesterday, now that I’m eating real food. This summer is going to be a long one for me, though. I’m really looking forward to college starting in the fall.

[Listening to: Coheed and Cambria - Neverender (5:22)]